deski
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Showing posts tagged john dies at the end
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UnknownUnknown379Plays
Camel Holocaust - Three Arm Sally
My melon soul
Crushed by your Galagher of apathy.
Sledgehammer, hammmmmer!
Camel holocaust, camel holocaust.
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”I have this class,” she said, “on Social Psychology. And the guy who teaches it, he said the amount of the universe a human can experience is statistically, like, zero percent. You’ve got this huge universe, trillions of trillions of miles of empty space between galaxies, and all a human can perceive is a little tunnel a few feet wide and a few feet long in front of our eyes. So he says we don’t really live in the universe at all, we live inside our brains. All we can see is like a blurry little pinhole in a blindfold, and the rest is filled in by our imagination. So whatever we think of the world, whether you think the world is cruel or good or cold or hot or wet or dry or big or small, that comes entirely from inside your head and nowhere else.
Amy in John and Dave and the Temple of X’al’naa’thuthuthu (via justintheamazingallan)
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”You see,
Frank found out the hard way that the dark things lurking in the night don’t haunt old houses or abandoned ships.
They haunt minds.John Dies at the End (via somethingunsusal)
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”Fred whispered, “Okay. If I don’t come back, and say they don’t got my body, like if Justin eats me or somethin’, tell everybody you don’t know what happened. Make it mysterious. And then a year later spread rumors that you’ve seen me wanderin’ around town. That way I’ll be like fuckin’ Bigfoot, everybody claiming to have seen me here and there. Legend of Fred Chu.”
John nodded, as if he were committing this to memory. He lit his own firebombs, glanced up at me and asked, “You got any final requests, in case this don’t end well?”
“Yeah. Avenge my death.David Wong, John Dies at the End (via whenzombiesattack)
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”That ability to see the right choice, but not until several hours have passed since making the wrong one? That’s what makes a person a dumbass, folks.
David Wong
John Dies at the End
(via DLandry914) -
”I stopped at a red light, feeling foolish as always for stopping at an intersection at an hour when the streets are deserted, just because a colored lightbulb told me to. Society has got me so fucking trained.
David Wong
John Dies at the End
(via DLandry914) -
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I said, “You know I was confused when I first saw you, right? At the house? I didn’t know where your hand went—”
“Well, I still had it in school—”
“—but John knew.”
“Well, yeah,” she said. “He used to come by.”
“Let me tell you everything you need to know about John. The reason I was surprised by your hand was because John never once described you as, ‘the girl with the missing hand.’”
John Dies at the End- David Wong (via badgerconda)
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”Out in Vegas, we met a guy. He was a pimp. We made quite a bit of money as male whores. They use to call you Rocket Rimjob. You won the gold at the Greater Nevada Sodomy Olympics back in July, landed a bunch of endorsement deals. You own the house you and Jennifer live in. Paid in cash I think.
John Dies at the End by David Wong (via zombiemercury)
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”I WOULD LIKE to pause for a moment, to talk about my penis.
My penis is like a toddler. A toddler—who is a perfectly normal size for his age—on a long road trip to what he thinks is Disney World. My penis is excited because he hasn’t been to Disney World in a long, long time, but remembers a time when he used to go every day. So now the penis toddler is constantly fidgeting, whining “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now? Now? How about… now?”
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.John Dies at the End - David Wong (via neverpost)
